


It's all my fault.

by Awkward_Bex



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Bad Writing, Character Death, Heavy Angst, Hospitals, Hurt No Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, M/M, Self-Harm, Short One Shot, Suicide, no one's okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-14 00:46:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13582461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awkward_Bex/pseuds/Awkward_Bex
Summary: Michael slammed the bathroom door behind him, running to the toilet and hacking. He hadn't eaten anything today, so nothing came up. He slumped against the toilet, staring at nothing as he recovered. He slowly stood, grabbing onto the counter to pull himself up. His mind decided to betray him and replay the scene back in his head...--HUGE TW FOR SUICIDE! PLEASE DON'T READ THIS IF SUICIDE TRIGGERS YOU IN ANY WAY!--





	It's all my fault.

**Author's Note:**

> This was mostly to get me back into the habit of writing, but take this I guess. This is also VERY short!

Michael slammed the bathroom door behind him, running to the toilet and hacking. He hadn't eaten anything today, so nothing came up. He slumped against the toilet, staring at nothing as he recovered. He slowly stood, grabbing onto the counter to pull himself up. His mind decided to betray him and replay the scene back in his head.

_Michael and Jeremy had been doing the normal stuff over the weekend. They go over to Michael's after school, they play video games and dick around. But today Jeremy seemed.. off. He decided to ask Jeremy about it so he paused the game. Jeremy cursed and turned to him, "What the hell?" He flinched but kept his gaze on Jeremy._

_"Are you okay?" He resisted grabbing Jeremy's hand. Michael also expected Jeremy to answer honestly, like he usually does. But this wasn't the usual days. This time, Jeremy stood up, glaring at him._

_"Why the fuck do you care?" Jeremy raised his arms to exaggerate what he just said. Michael winced. Jeremy knew he didn't like it when anyone yelled at him._

_"Because I care about you and your well being!" He shot back, standing up as well. He tried to look confidence but he could feel fear._

_Suddenly Jeremy shoved him, screaming at him, "WELL IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! WHY WOULD A.." Jeremy hesitated but then he just spat out," **LOSER** CARE?" Michael just stared back, trying to speak but he couldn't. A sob escaped him as he stumbled back. Jeremy seemed to realize what he just said. "Michael I-"  
_

_"Get out."  
_

_"I just-"  
_

_"GET OUT!" Michael yelled, his voice cracking. Jeremy hesitated but grabbed his stuff, heading up the stairs of the basement and disappearing. Afterwards Michael rushed to the bathroom._

He choked out a sob, slumping down to the floor. He fumbled with his hoodie pocket, trembling as he pulled out a razor. Michael slashed his arm blindly, his vision blurred. After about 5 minutes of non-stop cutting his vision finally cleared and he stared at his arms. They were practically covered in blood, then Michael just.. gave up. "Jeremy hates me, obviously. He's the only one I live for," he muttered, struggling back to his feet as his arms were starting to ache. He reached blindly into the cabinet and grabbed a random container of pills. He opened it with ease and stared at it. The blood from his cuts were starting to drip onto the floor and he sighed, raising the container and dumping all the pills into his mouth. He turned on the sink and cupped his hands, filling them with water and drinking it after swallowing the pills.

This was it.

He was going to die.

Might as well die faster.

He grabbed the razor again and started to cut extremely deep, hissing at the pain. He aimed for where he could slightly see his veins. He did this until he got light headed and stopped, then raised the razor to his neck and swallowed, sinking the razor in and dragging. He dropped it, screaming in pain. He clutched his stomach, sobbing. This was really it. He laid there, thinking.  _"I never got to tell him that I loved him. He'll never know... maybe in whatever afterlife, when we meet again, I'll tell him."_  His eyes closed.

Those eyes would never open again.

                                                                                                   -----------------------------

Jeremy clutched Michael's hand. God it was so cold. This was all his fault. "I'm so sorry Mikey." He sobbed, squeezing his best friend's hand. "God I loved you. I never got to tell you. I know you're gay and all but... that doesn't mean you were in love with me." He let out a half-hearted laugh, wiping away his tears. "I hope you wake up." He sighed, he never liked the smell of hospitals. He hoped the Squip incident would be the last time he was in one.

An hour later.

A flat line.

He's dead.

Jeremy screamed, clutching himself as sobs wracked his body when he found out.

Michael died. And it's all his fault.


End file.
